Books about compassion and bereavement
Take a look at our recommended titles about compassion as part of St Elizabeth Hospice's Compassionate Communities project.
Compassionate Communities gives you the tools to help others whether it be at work, through community events or simply how to support a neighbour going through a bereavement. By developing these skills, we can build the confidence and resilience needed to care for one another before and after end of life.
With the End in Mind: How to Live and Die Well by Katheryn Mannix
Told through a series of beautifully crafted stories taken from nearly four decades of clinical practice, Mannix' book answers the most intimate questions about the process of dying with touching honesty and humanity. She makes a compelling case for the therapeutic power of approaching death not with trepidation but with openness, clarity and understanding.
How to Survive Losing a Loved One: a Practical Guide to Coping With Your Partner's Terminal Illness and Death, and Building the Next Chapter in Your Life by Karen Jackson and Christine Pearson
Receiving the news that your partner has a terminal or life-limiting illness, or has died unexpectedly, is among the worst experiences in life. At a time when you are least able to cope, you are faced with a multitude of difficult decisions, some of which must be made quickly. What you need is a friend who has experienced everything you are about to face, who can support you as you navigate some tough, important choices. This book is that friend.
There is plenty of information out there but where to start looking? What information is needed and how can it be accessed? What decisions are essential in the immediate term and what can be left until later? Throughout the book, the emphasis is on protecting and supporting those left behind by presenting almost every choice you may need to make and the possible implications of each decision.
Borrow How to Survive Losing a Loved One →
I Promise it Won't Always Hurt Like This: 17 Assurances on Grief, by Clare MacKintosh
Grief is universal, but it's also as unique to each of us as the person we've lost. It can be overwhelming, exhausting, lonely, unreasonable, there when we least expect it and seemingly never-ending. Wherever you are with your grief and whoever you're grieving for, 'I Promise It Won't Always Hurt Like This' is here to support you. To tell you, until you believe it, that things will get easier.
When Clare Mackintosh lost her five-week-old son, she searched for help in books. All of them wanted to tell her what she should be feeling and when she should be feeling it, but the truth - as she soon found out - is that there are no neat, labelled stages for grief, or crash grief-diets to relieve us of our pain. What we need when we're grieving is time and understanding.
Borrow I Promise it Won't Always Hurt Like This →
Moving On Doesn't Mean Letting Go: A Modern Guide to Navigating Loss, by Gina Moffa
Whether experiencing the loss of a loved one or mourning ambiguous losses such as identity, place, community or relationships, grief is everywhere. In 'Moving On Doesn't Mean Letting Go', licensed grief therapist Gina Moffa offers a compassionate take on loss, acknowledging that grief is an unpredictable non-linear journey and normalising the slow, individual momentum of each person's process - with none of the toxic positivity that bypasses the possibility of true healing and transformation. From surviving the initial shock after loss to exercises for healing the mind and body and navigating grief through social media, this book is a timely guide to balm our strongest wounds.
Borrow Moving On Doesn't Mean Letting Go →
Let's Talk About Death (Over Dinner): an Invitation and Guide to Life's Most Important Conversation by Michael Hebb
Of the many critical conversations we will all have throughout our lifetime, few are as important as the ones discussing death - and not just the practical considerations, such as DNRs and wills, but what we fear, what we hope, and how we want to be remembered. Inspired by his experience with his own father and countless stories from others who regret not having these conversations, Michael Hebb cofounded Death Over Dinner - an organisation that encourages people to pull up a chair, break bread, and really talk about the one thing we all have in common.
This book offers keen practical advice on how to have these same conversations - not just at the dinner table, but anywhere. There's no one right way to talk about death, but Hebb shares time- and dinner-tested prompts to use as conversation starters, ranging from the spiritual to the practical, from analytical to downright funny and surprising.
Borrow Let's Talk About Death (Over Dinner) →
You Are Not Alone: A New Way to Grieve, by Cariad Lloyd
'You Are Not Alone' doesn't offer you an exit, just suggestions on how to navigate grief. To help you as you learn grief's brutal but beautiful lesson; that grief will change and grow and diminish and reappear, it will be with you forever, you will learn to build a life around it, to carry it. It will be OK, you will be OK. Somehow, you will be. You are not alone.
Cariad was just 15 years old when her father died. At the time, death was still a taboo, and grief even more so. No one was talking about what it really felt like, the tears, the laughter, the pain - the truth of grief. Years later, she found she needed a place where she could finally be honest about this strange human emotion, so she created the Griefcast podcast, starting a conversation about one of the most significant moments of all our lives: the end.
Dostadning: the Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning by Margareta Magnusson
'Döstädning', or the art of death cleaning, is a Swedish phenomenon by which the elderly and their families set their affairs in order. Whether it's sorting the family heirlooms from the junk, downsizing to a smaller place, or setting up a system to help you stop misplacing your keys, death cleaning gives us the chance to make the later years of our lives as comfortable and stress-free as possible.
Whatever your age, Swedish death cleaning can be used to help you de-clutter your life, and take stock of what's important. Radical and joyous, this book can help you or someone you love immeasurably, and offers the chance to celebrate and reflect on all the tiny joys that make up a long life along the way.
Finding Joy by Gary Andrews
Illustrator and animator Gary Andrews suddenly lost his wife, Joy, to sepsis, leaving him a widower and single father to two young children. As a way of coping, Gary posted a doodle a day on Twitter, illustrating the ups and downs of family life after Joy's death. His drawings, which depict his and his children's pain, love and humour with an extraordinary honesty, have since resonated with people all over the world and have been shared tens of thousands of times online. 'Finding Joy' brings together old and new drawings to tell Gary's story.
On Grief & Grieving: Finding the Meaning of Grief Through the Five Stages of Loss by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and David Kessler
Completed shortly before her death, the author of 'On Death And Dying' teams up with David Kessler to provide a deeply empathetic and accessible guide for those in grief.
Beyond Grief: Navigating the Journey of Pregnancy and Baby Loss, by Pippa Vosper
Pippa Vosper tragically lost her son Axel in 2017, when she was five months pregnant, and has since written about miscarriage and baby loss online and in a series of pieces for Vogue. 'Beyond Grief' is the book she wishes had been available when her son died. It covers every aspect of pregnancy and baby loss at any stage, from the practical to the emotional, with advice from experts and stories from women who have experienced losses of their own. It offers both an inclusive perspective and a guiding hand to anyone who has experienced any kind of baby loss, as well as those who are trying to support them through it.
Regrets of the Dying: Stories and Wisdom That Remind Us How to Live, by Georgina Scull
Ten years ago, without time to think or prepare, Georgina Scull ruptured internally. The doctors told her she could have died and, as Georgina recovered, she began to consider the life she had led and what she would have left behind. Paralysed by a fear of wasting what seemed like precious time but also fully ready to learn how to spend her second chance, Georgina set out to meet others who had faced their own mortality or had the end in sight.
The people she met taught her what it feels like to know you're running out of time, what tends to stays with you, what you should let go of, what everyone wishes they'd done differently and what it means to have a life well-lived. 'Regrets of the Dying' is a powerful and hopeful meditation on life and what really matters in the end.
A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis
In April 1956, C.S. Lewis, a confirmed bachelor, married Joy Davidman, an American poet with two small children. After four brief, intensely happy years, Davidman died of cancer and Lewis found himself alone again, and inconsolable. To defend himself against the loss of belief in God, Lewis wrote this journal, an eloquent statement of rediscovered faith. In it he freely confesses his doubts, his rage, and his awareness of human frailty. In it he finds again the way back to life. Now a modern classic, 'A Grief Observed' has offered solace and insight to countless readers worldwide.
This readers' edition will include the original text of 'A Grief Observed' as well as new and specially commissioned responses to the book and its themes from respected contemporary writers and thinkers.
Good Mourning: Honest Conversations About Grief and Loss, by Imogen Carn and Sally Douglas
Good Mourning is a compassionate survival guide for anyone dealing with grief – the kind of book Sal and Im wish they'd had to help them through the dark times. Here they shine a light on the many ways grief can impact our lives (hello ugly crying, exhaustion and 'grief brain'). Along with expert advice from clinical psychologist Tamara Cavenett and warm words and insights from hundreds of others who've experienced grief, the authors offer practical tips on coping with isolation and loneliness, navigating grief at work, managing milestones and so much more.
I'm Not a Mourning Person: Braving Loss, Grief, and the Big Messy Emotions That Happen When Life Falls Apart, by Kris Carr
Free yourself from the fear of grief with this book on the life-changing insights we receive when we're brave enough to walk through the fire. Grief is an inevitable part of the human experience. What doesn't get processed one way will still get processed - we just might not like the outcome. Unfelt grief will do whatever it needs to do to let all that big, feely energy out. It will morph into anger, anxiety, hypervigilance, drive, procrastination and, of course, copious amounts of wine (or other addictions that offer temporary comfort in the storm).
But here's what can happen when we're brave: our messy emotions teach us how to be free - not free from pain, but free from the fear of pain and the barrier it creates to joyful, fully alive living.
Borrow I'm Not a Mourning Person →
Letters From the Grief Club: How We Live With Loss, by Beth French and Kate Moreton
Beth French was 20 when her mother died. She had no idea what to do. So, she Googled 'what to do when your mum dies' but the internet didn't have the answers. Beth and Let's Talk About Loss have compiled this collection of letters and advice from other young adults who know what it's like to lose someone, so no-one else has to go through it alone.
Borrow Letters From the Grief Club →
Good Grief: the A to Z Approach of Modern-Day Grief Healing by Shelley F. Knight
An inspiring companion for your journey through grief. Grief is closely associated with death, but can be triggered when we lose anything with which we have an emotional connection. Much that can be read about the grieving process is outdated and can serve an injustice to our rapidly evolving, modern society. In conjunction with recent medical and societal advancements, new and complex presentations of grief have arisen. As a result, our own journey through grief must also evolve in order for us to effectively heal and even flourish as a result of our experiences surrounding loss.
Delivering an eclectic blend of medical and spiritual observations and teachings, 'Good Grief' addresses life as well as death, and provides a practical guidebook for your unique grief journey.
The Madness of Grief: a Memoir of Love and Loss by Richard Coles
Whether it is pastoral care for the bereaved, discussions about the afterlife, or being called out to perform the last rites, death is part of the Reverend Richard Coles's life and work. But when his partner the Reverend David Coles died, shortly before Christmas in 2019, much about death took Coles by surprise. For one thing, David's death at the early age of forty-three was unexpected. The man that so often assists others to examine life's moral questions now found himself in need of help.
He began to look to others for guidance to steer him through his grief. The flock was leading the shepherd. Much about grief surprised him: the volume of 'sadmin' you have to do when someone dies, how much harder it is travelling for work alone, even the pain of typing a text message to your partner - then realising you are alone.
An Introduction to Coping With Grief by Sue Morris
Grief is a natural reaction to loss, but in some cases it can be devastating, preventing the bereaved from moving on with their life and affecting their relationships and work. This self-help guide offers an examination and explanation of the grieving process and offers strategies to help someone adjust to life without a loved one.